The Great Work-Life Balancing Act: Are Women Being Set Up to Fail?
Have you ever had one of those days where you're finishing a work presentation while helping with homework, planning tomorrow's dinner, scheduling a doctor's appointment, and remembering it's your mother-in-law's birthday all simultaneously? If you're a woman, chances are you're nodding in recognition right now.
The modern woman's life can feel like an impossible juggling act. We're told we can "have it all" but nobody mentioned we'd have to do it all, all at once, and often with minimal support.
Is this really progress? Or have we simply traded one set of limitations for another, more exhausting version?
The Evolution of Expectations
Let's hop in our time machine and travel back to our grandmothers' era. For many women, the expectations were clear: manage the home, raise the children and support your husband. It wasn't necessarily easy, but the scope was defined.
Fast forward to today, and women are expected to:
Excel in demanding careers
Be present, attentive parents
Maintain picture-perfect homes
Nurture fulfilling relationships
Stay connected with friends and family
Keep up with personal fitness and self-care
Plan all family logistics and events
Remember everyone's schedules, preferences, and needs
And somehow, we're supposed to do all this with the same 24 hours that men have, while often still handling the majority of domestic responsibilities. Now I’m not saying this to slate men as luckily in our house there is more of a balance, but there is definitely a LOT more pressure on women today.
This isn't about comparing hardships across generations. Each era has its challenges. But there's something uniquely overwhelming about the competing demands placed on women today.
The Support Systems That Vanished
What's changed isn't just expectations, it's our support networks.
In previous generations:
Families often lived in the same neighbourhood or town
Communities were more stable and interconnected
Grandparents were typically younger when grandchildren arrived
The cost of living often allowed for single-income households
Today:
Family members are scattered across countries or continents
We move frequently for work, disrupting community ties
Many women have children later, meaning grandparents are older and less able to help
Economic pressures mean most households require two incomes
In other words, we've added massive career responsibilities while simultaneously eroding the support systems that made family life manageable. It's like asking someone to carry twice the load with half the help.
The Invisible Load
Here's something that doesn't show up on anyone's CV: mental load.
Mental load is all the invisible thinking, planning, and organising that keeps households and relationships functioning. It's:
Remembering that the school needs a donation for the spring fair
Noticing the washing powder is running low
Tracking which child is in which afterschool activity
Knowing when family birthdays are approaching
Monitoring everyone's emotional wellbeing
Planning meals that accommodate everyone's preferences and needs
This isn't just about physical tasks, it's about carrying the responsibility for remembering, anticipating, and coordinating thousands of details. And studies consistently show this invisible work falls disproportionately on women, even in otherwise equal relationships.
It's exhausting precisely because it never ends and is rarely acknowledged. You don't get to tick "constantly anticipated everyone's needs" off your to-do list.
The Corporate World: Designed by Men, for Men
Despite progress in workplace equality, most corporate structures were designed by and for men with wives at home handling life admin. Think about it:
The 9-5 (or more realistically, 8-6) schedule assumes someone else is handling school pickups
Limited flexibility assumes personal appointments can be scheduled outside work hours
Travel expectations assume someone else can cover childcare
Networking events and late meetings assume someone else is making dinner
Many workplaces still reward presence over productivity and availability over results. This model disadvantages anyone with significant responsibilities outside work which, as we've established, tends to be women.
Is it any wonder that women often hit a wall in their careers when family responsibilities intensify? The system wasn't designed for them to succeed.
The Entrepreneurial Escape Route
Given these structural challenges, it's no surprise that many women are charting their own paths. Female entrepreneurship is booming, with women starting businesses at unprecedented rates.
For many, entrepreneurship isn't just about innovation or wealth creation, it's about designing work that fits their lives.
When you run your own business, you can:
Structure your schedule around family needs
Work during hours that suit you (early morning, naptime, evenings)
Eliminate commuting time
Create a culture that values results over face time
Build in the flexibility to handle life's unpredictable moments
Help others with your passion and purpose
Of course, entrepreneurship brings its own challenges and pressures. But for many women, having autonomy over when, where, and how they work makes these challenges worthwhile.
The rise in female business ownership isn't just a nice statistic, it's a referendum on workplaces that haven't adapted to the realities of women's lives.
Is Balance Even Possible?
Let's be honest: perfect balance is probably a myth. Life has seasons, and sometimes work takes priority while at other times family does. Maybe "balance" isn't about equal time spent on each area every day, but about creating a life where nothing important gets neglected in the long run.
What would help make this more achievable?
Structural changes:
Workplaces that offer genuine flexibility without career penalties
Affordable, accessible childcare options
Policies that support caregiving for both genders
Corporate cultures that value output over hours
Relationship changes:
Partners who truly share the mental load, not just tasks
Open conversations about how domestic responsibilities are divided
Recognition of invisible work
Personal changes:
Realistic expectations (nobody is excelling in every area simultaneously)
Boundaries around time and energy
Strategic outsourcing when possible
Community building to recreate support networks
None of these are easy or quick fixes. But acknowledging the problem is the first step toward change.
Breaking the Cycle
One of the most powerful things we can do is refuse to perpetuate these impossible standards.
This means:
Being honest about our struggles instead of allowing toxic positivity
Declining to judge other women for their choices - we need to be supporting and empowering each other
Advocating for flexibility and support in our workplaces
Raising children of all genders to share domestic responsibilities equally
Valuing and making visible the work of running a home and family
When we pretend we're effortlessly managing everything, we make other women feel inadequate and reinforce the idea that this juggling act is reasonable or sustainable.
Finding Your Own Path
There's no one-size-fits-all solution to the modern woman's dilemma. For some, corporate careers with supportive partners work well. Others thrive as entrepreneurs creating businesses around their family needs. Still others choose to focus primarily on family during certain seasons, returning to career pursuits later.
The key is recognising that these are all valid choices. Success isn't about conforming to external expectations but about creating a life that aligns with your personal values and priorities.
Ask yourself:
What truly matters most to me right now?
Where am I trying to meet others' expectations rather than my own?
What would make my life feel more manageable and fulfilling?
Where can I ask for help or let some things go?
Sometimes the bravest choice is stepping off the hamster wheel of trying to do everything perfectly and instead designing a life that actually works for you, even if it doesn't look like anyone else's.
The Future We're Creating
The models of work and family we're navigating weren't designed for women to succeed. But through our choices and advocacy, we're slowly creating new models.
Every time a woman:
Negotiates flexible working arrangements
Starts a business that prioritises work-life integration
Builds a partnership based on true equality
Challenges workplace norms and policies
Speaks honestly about the challenges she faces
... she's helping to create a world where women don't have to choose between career success and personal fulfilment.
This isn't just about individual choices, it's about collective change. By supporting each other, sharing our stories, and advocating for structural reforms, we can build a future where women aren't set up to fail but empowered to thrive.
The Conversation Starts Here
The work-life balancing act isn't going to get easier overnight. But by bringing these challenges into the open, we can start to address them honestly.
So let's talk:
How are you navigating these competing demands?
What's worked for you, and what hasn't?
Where do you need more support?
What changes would make the biggest difference in your life?
Remember, there's no perfect solution, just the one that works for you in this season of your life. And whatever that looks like, you're not alone in the struggle.
The question isn't whether women can "have it all", it's whether we can create systems and communities that don't require superhuman effort just to keep all the plates spinning.
What do you think? Is the modern woman being set up to fail, or are we on the path to a more equitable future? I'd love to hear your thoughts.
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